How wonderful it is to alter our future course based on our past experiences! Like an archer aiming for the target’s center, the little adjustments made after missing it over and over become the very pathway to the bullseye.
I’m a student who teaches as she learns. I keep learning from my imperfections and mistakes. My wholehearted intention is to use what I’ve learned to ease other’s pain.
My desire to be a teacher developed its roots in my childhood.
I learned about emotional and physical pain at age six as my father lay dying of brain cancer in the hospital with my mother by his side. We were left in the hands of family, acquaintances, and at times, people I didn’t know.
An experience I had with one of those people is where my murky, terrifying, pain-filled memories come from.
I ended up in the hospital for a few days with a kidney infection, feeling disoriented and emotionally fragmented. I fell down a rabbit hole into confusing darkness, never safe, always in a fog, and I lived there for years and years.
All I knew was that I hurt. All I wanted was to belong.
But I couldn’t belong because I didn’t like myself. I couldn’t belong because I was repressing so much pain that there wasn’t room in that rabbit hole for anyone to help me climb out.
I spent much of my time over much of my life hiding my imperfections (which didn’t fool anyone) and trying to prove that I was worthy (which never ends well).
Eventually I embraced two critical lessons:
- My pain makes me vulnerably human. Accepting that pain and acknowledging its presence gives me the strength to move forward and live my truth.
- I am perfectly imperfect. My imperfect self will continue to mess up, but my mistakes do not define me. They become my teachers as I adjust my behavior to grow from my experiences.
Letting these two powerful truths into my heart and mind was when I began to belong.
I began to belong to all the children I teach. I began to belong to the audiences I performed in front of. I began to belong to all the people I looked up to. I began to belong to myself.
This feeling of being perfectly imperfect has empowered me to take my work to a larger stage. I am learning to accept the fear, the risks, the criticism as what comes around when you speak your truth and put it out there. I will keep learning from my imperfections and my vulnerability.
It is my wholehearted intention to ease the pains of others.
I’m a student who teaches what she learns: I am perfectly imperfect.
Here’s what I want to offer you and your kids:
We are all perfectly imperfect.
Accepting this allows us to be present, pain and all.
Accepting this gives us the courage to speak our truth.
Accepting this, we are free to be ourselves.
Bring your perfectly imperfect vulnerable self to life. You belong. I promise.